Why does every Nashville-bred female country singer have to have that little spiky black-haired emo/straight-edge/idiot guitarist in their band? Did every corporate music suit get some report of micro-targeted research from Mark Penn on soccer moms and their daughters who love vampires and surmise that the emaciated dirty (but not too too dirty) boy was the best way to sell that sickly sweet version of empowerment? Because gosh, you just know she’s really a femme fatale if she can tame a rebel like that into joining her band and not blissing out in some 80s cover band doing his best Robert Smith impressions. Chills.
Also I’m pretty sure that you can safely DVR your way through a musical performance on SNL if there’s more than one person on the stage wearing leather pants. That’s a pro-tip, but for you kind reader, it’s free.
